Anger Like a Fire (Ephesians 4:26)
- Rachel Coyle
- 12 minutes ago
- 4 min read
Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, —Ephesians 4:26
I remember the day my six-year-old son ran up the basement stairs with an urgent message, “Mommy, it’s foggy down there!” Foggy? My mind raced to figure out what he meant. “You mean, smokey?” Sure enough, the basement was full of smoke. I didn’t see a fire, but what else could cause so much smoke? I called the fire department, still not sure what was going on. It’s a good thing I did, because the fire was building inside the wall. The firefighters discovered the source–a space heater–and extinguished it before any major damage occurred.
Last November, my neighbors had a similar experience, except they were sleeping when the fire began. Unlike us, they discovered it too late, waking up to a raging house fire. They lost everything.
Anger is like a fire. It’s easier to put out when we deal with it early on. This week’s verse instructs us to deal with anger when it first appears, before it swells into a raging force with the potential to cause significant damage.
Because anger is an emotion, it’s possible to feel angry and not sin. Jesus did. In His humanity, he was angry, but without sin (Mark 3:5, Hebrews 4:15). Righteous anger focuses on the sin, not on the individual who sinned. To be righteous, anger must act intentionally with the purpose of restoration, not that of venting frustration or retaliating.
In our humanity, however, we tend to act selfishly when we’re angry. Ephesians 4:26 warns against this. The verse is surrounded by other instructions about how believers ought to relate to one another. This makes Paul’s instruction interpersonal.
There are two Greek words translated “anger” in this passage. The first (orgizesthe) is a general term that can include righteous or sinful anger. The second (parorgismō) is a Greek word used only here in the New Testament. It’s a relational term, describing intense anger or rage directed at another person. This is an extreme anger that destroys people and relationships. Paul is warning us: beware of holding on to this kind of anger.
When Paul says, “do not let the sun go down on your anger,” he doesn’t mean we must resolve conflict before going to bed each night. Fatigue tends to complicate situations and magnify personal problems. If you’ve ever tried to bring up an offense at bedtime—when no one is thinking clearly—you know that it often backfires and escalates an already heated situation. Sometimes a good night’s sleep brings clarity. We might even wake up in the morning realizing that what felt so offensive yesterday doesn’t even bother us today. We can let love cover it (Proverbs 10:12; 1 Peter 4:8).
Here Paul is teaching us to deal quickly with anger toward another person. Don’t allow it to ferment into seething resentment. Don’t sin by ignoring it altogether or sweeping it under the rug. His allusion to Psalm 4:4 provides further understanding: “Be angry, and do not sin; ponder in your own hearts on your beds, and be silent. Selah.”
Pondering here does not mean stewing on offenses, but literally speaking truth to yourself while you are lying in bed.” Be silent means to calm down. In other words, before you go to sleep at night, rather than rehearsing how another person hurt or offended you, tell yourself the truth. Speak Scripture to yourself in those quiet hours of the night when anger threatens to keep you awake. Ask the Lord to help you recognize what is true about the situation or the person you are angry with. Consider what your own contributing role may be. For example, how can you cover the situation with love? What is the underlying issue that needs to be addressed? How can you speak the truth in love to that person?
Like a spark that ignites a fuel source, anger nursed and rehearsed can grow into a raging fire. It intensifies and inflicts greater damage. Beware of cherishing anger or feeding it by stacking up a record of wrongs. That kind of bitterness destroys us as much as it destroys relationships.
Paul knows that interpersonal anger is a common struggle in our fallen world. No doubt, this has to be one of the most challenging, yet essential, instructions in the New Testament. At the first hint of smoke, look for the source of anger and extinguish it quickly. This will protect your relationships with others. Praise God that He gives us His grace in Christ to do it.
For Reflection
With whom do you tend to get angry ? How can you deal quickly with your anger, in a righteous way?
Are there any relationships in your life that have been damaged because of your anger? What can you do to repair them? (see Matthew 5:23-24; Ephesians 4:31-32.)
Thank God for the indwelling Holy Spirit who gives those of us who belong to Christ the grace and strength we need in order to learn how to be angry and not sin.
Rachel Coyle is a biblical counselor, Bible teacher, and author of Help! I'm Angry, a mini-book for teens and their parents from Shepherd Press LifeLine for Teens series. She and her husband Philip have six children. Scripture memory plays a pivotal role in their parenting and homeschooling as they sing, write, and discuss the meaning and application of passages. The Coyles live in South Carolina where they're members of Boiling Springs First Baptist Church.
